Planet Coaster: A Fun Ride… For The First Fifty Hours At Least.

Intro: A brief history of the genre

I have been playing amusement park management games since I was tiny. I remember playing Theme Park on the Sega Mega Drive (or ‘Genesis’ for the yanks) and recall the seemingly limitless possibilities and the awe that it inspired within me (I also remember constructing a park called ‘Bog Land’ with my sibling that was entirely made of toilets in a grid… it wasn’t a profitable venture).

theme park

On to the Playstation the games got bigger… but unfortunately it proved to be the end of the road for the developer of Theme Park. The title, Theme Park World was okay, but it really wasn’t the technological advancement that we expected. The game felt a little basic and the campaign was short and a little dull.

So disappointing, given that it came out only a couple of years after Theme Hospital, which is considered to be one of the finest management sims and a game that I feel both deserves a sequel and which I’m glad EA haven’t touched since… anyway, I digress.

Then Roller Coaster Tycoon came along on PC and became everything that Theme Park World should have been. The significant advancement in custom roller-coaster design took peoples imaginations and resulted in limitless fun and outrageous designs.

rollercoaste tycoon

Who didn’t enjoy building a coaster with no end that launched poor guests into a lake or at the neighbors?

Roller Coaster Tycoon 2 stuck to the same model, providing more of the same and Roller Coaster Tycoon 3 took the world into the full 3D realm, for better, or for worse. Personally, I quite liked the change and I found the campaign in RCT3 to be by far the best of the three.

Unfortunately, the dominance of the Roller Coaster Tycoon brand seems to be coming to a close, with the release of a game that has been largely panned by critics, weirdly called Roller Coaster Tycoon World (ominous echoes of Theme Park World…). It released in close proximity to Planet Coaster and by the looks of it, Planet Coaster has won the war.

Enter Planet Coaster…

king coaster

So the last really good game in this genre was released in 2004, so for thirteen years we’ve been playing the same game and technology has moved on. Fans yearn for more.

Billed as the spiritual successor to Roller Coaster Tycoon, Planet Coaster released in direct opposition to the newest game in the RCT series… and seems to have taken the crown.

But is it any good?… well yes.

As a technical improvement on Roller Coaster Tycoon 3, it is breathtaking. Building coasters is a joyful and challenging experience with the intuitive heat-maps that tell you which parts of the coaster is particularly vomit-making or poop-pushing. You have a great deal of freedom in this regard and can largely do exactly what you want.

The big change here however is the ability to design your own buildings, building shops and rides into them and creating some stunning and themed scenery. This ability to decorate doubles as a mechanic to try to entertain your guests.

If there is nothing to look at around the queues to your rides, guests won’t want to queue for long and will get bored. Indeed if you make the entrance to a ride look schwifty enough, people will pay more to get on.

coaster castle

Unfortunately, this game does not come without it’s flaws. It has been criticized for being too easy and in places, I would definitely agree with this. The campaign is short, with a small number of scenarios, from beginner to hard levels. Beginner levels are essentially a tutorial, and won’t challenge you to any great extent.

There is serious potential here, as the game is adding new scenarios, which have been free thus far. However, at the moment, there’s just not really enough here to go on and the added content has tried to counter the lack of content with excessive difficulty, in an attempt to stop you from completing it all so quickly.

The saving grace is the Challenge Mode, which will drop you in a flat square of land and gives you a standard set of missions to complete. It’s more interesting than sandbox mode, but less interesting than a fully fleshed out and balanced campaign. It feels lazy and as a result the game feels unfinished.

Steam workshop support is great, but by giving you the option to simply download designs from other players, it might discourage you from making your own coasters and buildings. It’s nice to have it there, and I’d like to see some more scenarios from the workshop being brought into the game with proper objectives and custom rules.

I’ve had a lot of fantastic hours on this game, but I’ve done about everything that the game has to offer at this point and I’m really hoping that Frontier won’t rely on the Steam community to create its content for it.

With more scenarios and continued support, possibly leader-boards and some curated content brought into the main game from the workshop, this game has the potential to be truly great… but in it’s current state it’s merely good.

I’ll give it seven vomiting guests out of ten.



Contrast is an example of an excellent concept brought to life with great care and a large quantity of style.

Contrast: a game of light and shadow

Contrast: a game of light and shadow

Everything about the game simply oozes class and finesse. The setting is an impressive romanticisation of the roaring 20’s in a fragmented world that is never really fully explained. At first, I thought that the world was only fragmented in the shadow realm, but since the little girl you are assisting (who belongs to the “solid” realm) cannot traverse the gaping chasms; I reason that the world itself must be fragmented.

The way that the interactions with those of the other realm occurs is truly inspired and clever. You become truly immersed and some of the side puzzles are as challenging as the story challenges.

contrast style

The game mechanics are simple and the puzzles are well designed. Whilst I wouldn’t say that they were perfectly intuitive, there were very few rage inducing fiddly bits that plague this kind of game elsewhere. It has a nice balance between testing  both reflexes and brain-power.

Puzzle games are not one of my favourite genres, but this one gets top marks for its originality and its execution. The whole thing feels crafted by someone who cares; more than can be said for the AAA vomit that gets chucked at us consistently.

contrast gameplay

The only issue that I have with the game is its length. I do not rush games, and I didn’t rush this one (finding most of the hidden collectables), but even so I was done with it in less than four hours… and that really isn’t good enough for a full game.

There really isn’t a whole lot of replay value either, aside from looking for missed collectables. This is one of the key reasons that I’m not a huge fan of puzzle games… once you’ve finished it, that’s it really.


My summary, like the game, will be short and sweet:

A fantastic, well-crafted and engrossing game while it lasts… which isn’t nearly long enough. Wait for it to go on sale, but it’s definitely one to play.

7 corsets out of 10

Grand Theft Auto 5

I am obsessed with GTA. I have been since GTA2 and I adore everything about them.

To give you an Idea of how much I bloody love them, I took a week off work from the Tuesday the game was released just to play GTA5, and I played 14 hours of it straight with only minimal toilet/sandwich breaks.

Been looking forward to this one for a while...

Been looking forward to this one for a while…

OK, so I’m not the most balanced critic here, but I know my stuff and I know what needs to work if it’s going to measure up to its predecessors. Despite this, there is criticism… but we’ll get all the positives out of the way first shall we.

My absolute favourite thing about the game is the map. The amount of effort that has gone into this map is as impressive as it is engrossing. I find myself wondering around, spotting the odd in-joke that I don’t quite get, hearing a bit of well-scripted banter and then all of a sudden a mugging!

Random world events have been used to some really good effect in GTA5. They add just a little bit more to the length of the game and constantly keep you busy. Despite pretty much being a variation on the same thing (someone stole something: chase them down, grab the goods and either return it or keep it) I do find myself doing them if I’m not on my way to do something more interesting.

The characters were extremely well done. I liked all of them in their own way and everyone I ask seems to have a favourite. There is a good mix of psychoses going on and the script writers did a pretty good job of bringing them all to life.

Switching between characters is very nice, and switching to Trevor is always a fairly interesting occurrence. You switch to Trevor with a sense of apprehension, the question “what the hell has he been up to this time?” lurking at the back of your mind.

You are rarely disappointed. He’s usually either being chased by the police for some reason or he’s waking up in the middle of nowhere, still drunk and possibly in a dress… no, I am not joking.

I like the resurrection of the Rampage missions and they’ve been worked in fantastically, only being made available to Trevor when someone really pisses him off. I missed rampage missions in GTA4 and I’m glad rockstar are no-longer taking themselves too seriously to let us go on the odd rampage not and then.

I’m also glad that they’ve allowed us to carry more than one of each kind of weapon… that was annoying.

The actual game engine is really well done too. Shooting and driving are great and feel just right (well… unless you’re playing on a PS3 like I was. The controller doesn’t exactly do precision and let me down on numerous occasions).

Hidden packages are done quite well, but the map is far too large to be able to find them all without clues. I remember spending an entire week combing every square inch of GTA3’s map grid by grid, until I had all of the hidden packages. The mere thought of doing that on GTA5 makes me want to vomit.

It's huge...

It’s huge…

Enough with the pleasantries

I left this review until after the online was fixed, to give it a fair crack of the whip and so far, the online is the first disappointment for me.

It’s not the lag, because there isn’t all that much of that anymore and it’s not the way it works really. I can see where they’re going with it and it’s quite exciting, but they have to get the basics right and sadly, they haven’t yet.

Firstly, there is an issue with lobbies. When you want to kick up an event, you have to wait for about half an hour to get enough players to play because it only invites people in the same “world” as you. Is it not too much to ask to set up a bit of matchmaking across all servers like on any other game?

There’s a connection issue too, once you get into a game. I have friends (I know, you’d never believe it!) and you can be in the same mission or fire-fight, having a great time and suddenly BAM! One of you disappears and takes half of the team with him!


It’s especially irritation when the disconnected player is the driver and you are left in a car that is slowly grinding to a halt as your quarry buggers off.

The worst part about the online is that while you’re not in a game, (and let’s face it… you won’t be for the majority of the time because it’s too much effort and as soon as you do get into a game you find yourself disconnected) there’s sod-all to do but drive around and wait for someone to try to kill you. It’s just a bit boring, sadly.

If a few things get ironed out, the online could be brilliant...

If a few things get ironed out, the online could be brilliant…

Now we come to my main point. This is the thing that has disappointed me above all else. This is something that all the sexy graphics and glorious gameplay in the world can’t hide…

The main campaign.

It’s not a bad campaign and I’ve certainly played worse, but Grand Theft Auto games promice so much more and Grand Theft Auto players demand so much more.

It has the whiff of an unfinished masterpiece: so much potential unfulfilled.

The heist system is particularly inspired and the way that you can level up crew members is a great idea, but what’s the point if there’s only ever going to be four heists in the game? Seems to me like they’re building up for some DLC, but unless it’s free it doesn’t belong in this review and it would be just another game released unfinished.

Also, whilst it’s not the shortest game in the world, in places it feels awfully rushed. There’s a whole section when you’re on the run in the wilderness that lasts what seems like all of two hours. So much more could have been done with that! Hillbillies vs Micheal or Franklin… who doesn’t want to see that?

The map was my favourite part of the game, but with the campaign it is also my biggest disappointment by far.

There is so much on the map and so many interesting settings that are completely unutilised by the main story, or at all!

After finishing the game, I found that there were huge swathes of land that I’d never been to before. I got in a helicopter to go and explore them and I found a dam, a couple of factories/refineries, a religious retreat, a windfarm, a vineyard… I could go on for quite some time, naming all of the places that would have made the campaign longer, more varied, more action packed and that might as well not be there at all!

It is difficult to put into words how utterly enraged I was that such a fantastic resource was wasted so shamelessly. The map design team must be absolutely livid, and rightly so!

So many stunning locations left unused... It's a dam shame!

So many stunning locations left unused… It’s a dam shame!

…Anyway, Here is my summary:

GTA5 is a really good game. It is a joy to play and is fantastically fun. GTA has its sense of humour back and returns to us in style.

My only fear is that it will not age as well as its predecessors. It will be remembered as the game that wasn’t quite as memorable as the games that came before it or the characters in it.

In ten years’ time, people will struggle to recall what the campaign was all about and what parts were most funny. All people will remember is how the game played and how it made them feel…

…And you know what? That’s no bad thing.

One hell of a game. One hell of a missed opportunity

8 submerged UFO’s out of 10.

Portal 2

Every now and then a game will come from out of nowhere, based entirely on a novel idea that had never been previously imagined, let alone put into practice. The first portal was just such a game.

I remember the first time I ever saw portal, round at a friend’s house with a few beers and the orange box. Eventually, we got bored of team fortress 2 and – deciding that Half Life 2 wasn’t exactly a party starter – we booted up some random puzzler tacked onto the compilation to fill up empty disk space…


Thinking back now, Portal is honestly my favourite game in that pack. Though it probably didn’t last any more than about 4-6 hours, the game simply oozed charm and was so simple and original that I almost didn’t believe that someone got a developer to even make it!

Simplicity and dark humour were the game’s backbone and heart respectively. Despite this, by the end of it I wasn’t expecting a sequel because they had surely done all they could with it, right?…


Valve managed to pull off one of the most impressive things that a developer can do to a game’s sequel; it managed to add an enormous amount of complexity and depth whilst maintaining the core mechanics and not overcomplicating the thing.

So there are new and interesting ways to interact with the environment, allowing you to do things that were impossible in the previous game. Speed gel allows you to zoom around and make impossible gaps; bounce gel allows you to get up to places previously unreachable and portal-surface gel allows you to make almost anything a portal-friendly surface. Anti-gravity beams move you or a companion in whatever direction you might point it.

Blue stuff

Blue gel turns a testing chamber into a bouncy castle!!!

In addition, the environment is vibrant, interesting and mobile. The world moves around you and you get to see more than just testing chambers.

All of this serves to make puzzles harder and the game last longer but still the basic left-right click portals remain the sole mechanic. Slick, simple and brilliant.

The story is not only a match for the original’s, but it surpasses it significantly in my opinion. It maintains the charm and the dark humour of the first Portal, whilst adding real flavour and epic plot.

Without spoiling anything for you, you play the last test subject left, who has been woken after a VERY long sleep by a rogue and fairly cheerful robot called Wheatley. It seems to want to keep you alive. This robot is voiced by Stephen Merchant and while this annoyed me at first (I tend not to like recognising voices… kind of ruins the premise of a character to me), but once I blocked the existence of Mr Merchant out of my head and brainwashed myself into believing that the voice truly was Wheatley’s the voice acting was very ably performed by… err… who was it again?

So it’s the usual drill, solve puzzles to survive some potentially lethal tests and you get… cake? Maybe. The further you move through, the more insane the challenges and the darker the humour.

The Co-Op game (yes, I’m only just up to that) is fantastic. If you have a friend, badger him/her until they submit and get the game. They managed to pack plenty of humour into this too and it’s not only an enormous amount of fun, it’s also really tricky in parts.


The co-op game is just fun

One bit of advice I can give you for the co-op is that headsets are essential. Though there is an in-game communication system using the keyboard, it can be clunky at times and there are times when timing has to be so precise that it just doesn’t cut it.

Finally, a fairly recent addition is the steam workshop. You can make your own test chambers (both solo ones and co-op ones) and share it with your friends, enemies and everyone else for that matter! You can complete test chambers made by anyone on steam, and there are entire custom campaigns on there made by people with far too much time on their hands (…I’m making one too).

The test-chamber creator is really easy to use and very flexible indeed. In fact, some of the chambers I’ve played have been really deviously tricky… there are some real sadists out there.

map maker

Here’s one I made earlier

This means that the game has the potential for unlimited gameplay; a truly limitless variety of test chambers that you can continue to solve forever.

The first Portal game’s weakness was that once you’d completed it, you knew the solution to every level. Portal 2’s campaign is so vast, it has an entire coop campaign to add to that and it has the community adding to it every day. It is a truly impressive improvement and a game that every PC gamer should own (especially when it can be gotten for a fiver on sale!).


Rating: 10 companion cubes out of 10